I came through darkness and into today with more clarity. It wasn’t quite the bright shining light of total healing abundance and overwhelming love that absolves all obstacles; as I had glimpses of feeling (or had wanted to feel); but there was new air to breath in. My lungs opened wider to take it in. My head felt lighter. My heart, relaxed. There was light upon my face.
Our darkness feels terrible, but here I am now. And it is over. And I’m not sure I’d be better off without having felt all the darkness of my whole life undulating through me. The pain. Oh that pain. I did surrender to it. Which is it’s own version of glory. Here I Am – Destruction.
I remembered the advice I had given to another: To love our anger and our hate as one part of accepting ourselves as we are – the first step to loving ourselves. I said to myself, as I told her to say to herself: “Thank you Anger and Hate for caring so deeply about me. I know now that I am deserving of much more from life than I have had in the past. Thank you for making this known to me. You may now move on.” It felt good to remember. To find my own way. I didn’t have to fear my darkness, but simply be it.