__________________________________________________________________________________________
11/4/16
9:34pm
I wore heels today. I haven’t in awhile, but I wanted to dress up. I noticed I didn’t want to stand too tall as I walked down the street. As if I would overpower the street. I would be too much. I thought, huh, that’s strange. Stand up tall, Lady! I did. I felt the extra work of my muscles to balance my steps in precarious shoes, standing tall. Confidence took extra muscle.
*
I think of yesterday when I auditioned a monologue and had rehearsed standing at the climactic moment. In the audition, I resisted standing. I thought, Oh don’t overpower this lady. You will be too much. Immediately after I finished, she told me, don’t resist your instinct to stand. She also told me that she thought to herself, Oh this girl needs to stand.
*
So I guess I need to stand. Perhaps it only feels too much because I am working overtime after being a little less.
Those heels in the closet called to me tonight. They said, Stand up in us. Walk tall with us. We’ll give you the courage to be exactly what you are.
__________________________________________________________________________________________