10.23.16

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10/23/16

10:56pm

At 6pm my body kicks into work mode. But I’m not structured properly. I went from working a morning job as a night owl to finally getting the picture and working overnights to now realizing it still isn’t quite right. The time for accomplishing work seems to be out of whack. Resting versus working. Accomplishing both and feeling like I’ve done myself right isn’t an easy task. 

I remember when I switched to overnights exclusively. I knew people did this, of course, but I never thought is was possible for myself. I don’t know why. It just never occurred to me as a possibility. Until one day my constant tardiness (due to lack of sleep) caused my supervisor to “threaten” to move me to overnights. I suppose this is an undesirable shift for most. And it dawned on me that that’s what would work for me. I switched. It felt like being on vacation 24/7. I felt FREE! My schedule was as I wanted it! I got regular sleep! And enough of it to feel rested! People told me I was glowing and looked renewed! I was out on a new venture as a better version of myself; more in the driver’s seat of her life. My creative productivity was at an all-time high! What a wonderful time.

It is two years later now. Circumstances have changed. I’m feeling the weight again of a schedule that’s not quite conducive to what my body is telling me it requires. Another shift must be made. I don’t know exactly what it is just yet. It must be another possibility my mind hasn’t even begun to conceive. Isn’t it funny how there are so many things our minds can’t even see? We don’t know until we know. I’m ready to know what my next reality consists of and leave this place behind. It served me well. But my body has moved on and is dragging my mind behind it. Let’s lighten that load and let the new day begin! You hear me up there, mind? Unsnag yourself from whatever it is and go catch up!

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